life’s old lesson

Learning is eternal; no matter where we are, who we’re with or what we’re doing, we will always be learning something. As I’ve been going through my travels in New Zealand, I have not only learnt about this wonderful country, I have also learnt a lot about myself. And getting to know oneself is a wonderful lesson, and an exciting eye opening experience.

So in my experience, I have always thought of myself as quite, very insecure and I’m not at all confident in myself. And then you have people come up to you saying, ‘don’t be shy, be more confident in yourself‘, which never helps. I also don’t think I am very interesting. Wanting to be a writer, everyone’s first advice is to start a blog but I never thought I had anything interesting to say, which is why I am thankful to anyone reading this right now (Thank you 😉 ). But even though I see myself this way, I do wish I could be more outspoken and expressive when I need to be. Because of this, I am forever amazed and admire those who can speak up, say anything with conviction and be able to hold the attention of others. I find that these are the people, that others want to be around and want to be friends with.

As I’ve been travelling New Zealand, I’ve met people who were just like that. One in particular was confident, talkative and always had something interesting to say. Then in a conversation I had with her, she said she admired me for my quietness and my reserve! I could not believe it! My quietness is something I am very aware of, and am made aware of by others, therefore I always thought it to be a weakness of mine but from her comment, I see it as being a  great strength, which has allowed me to listen and really look at others. Not only that, but she described me as ‘interesting to listen’ to. Seriously?! Me?! She was very attentive towards me and it was a strange and exciting feeling, to be able to hold someones attention.

I have also recently been described as confident as well, despite the fact that I believe I have a crippling shyness. Since I am travelling and being so far away from comfort, I know I had to grow up a bit and push myself, so I have worked on my confidence and it’s nice to know, it has been recognized. Also, since no one knows me here, reinventing myself, as it were, came very easily. This is not to say I am a completely different person, or that I am lying to myself; I think we can all reinvent ourselves, at any point in time no matter where we are. I see it as a part of yourself that was waiting to come out, and a part of you you’ll enjoy exploring.

So without realizing it, I had become the person I always wanted to be, and it took me having to move to the other side of the world to find myself! I recognize that I am different now. I have grown and in the years ahead of me I will be a different person again. We never stop changing, and we do what we can to improve ourselves as well. It’s also great to hear others opinion, that their perception of you is different from that you have of yourself, as I have found. Of course that doesn’t mean you take their word for it, and of course not everyone will like you (sorry). But whatever helps you grow and allows you to see yourself better is always good and enriching. You will find what you are capable of, and it will amaze you on how efficient and even strong you can be, when you become completely alone, in a new place and it is just you and the world; just something to think about.