life’s old lesson

Learning is eternal; no matter where we are, who we’re with or what we’re doing, we will always be learning something. As I’ve been going through my travels in New Zealand, I have not only learnt about this wonderful country, I have also learnt a lot about myself. And getting to know oneself is a wonderful lesson, and an exciting eye opening experience.

So in my experience, I have always thought of myself as quite, very insecure and I’m not at all confident in myself. And then you have people come up to you saying, ‘don’t be shy, be more confident in yourself‘, which never helps. I also don’t think I am very interesting. Wanting to be a writer, everyone’s first advice is to start a blog but I never thought I had anything interesting to say, which is why I am thankful to anyone reading this right now (Thank you 😉 ). But even though I see myself this way, I do wish I could be more outspoken and expressive when I need to be. Because of this, I am forever amazed and admire those who can speak up, say anything with conviction and be able to hold the attention of others. I find that these are the people, that others want to be around and want to be friends with.

As I’ve been travelling New Zealand, I’ve met people who were just like that. One in particular was confident, talkative and always had something interesting to say. Then in a conversation I had with her, she said she admired me for my quietness and my reserve! I could not believe it! My quietness is something I am very aware of, and am made aware of by others, therefore I always thought it to be a weakness of mine but from her comment, I see it as being a  great strength, which has allowed me to listen and really look at others. Not only that, but she described me as ‘interesting to listen’ to. Seriously?! Me?! She was very attentive towards me and it was a strange and exciting feeling, to be able to hold someones attention.

I have also recently been described as confident as well, despite the fact that I believe I have a crippling shyness. Since I am travelling and being so far away from comfort, I know I had to grow up a bit and push myself, so I have worked on my confidence and it’s nice to know, it has been recognized. Also, since no one knows me here, reinventing myself, as it were, came very easily. This is not to say I am a completely different person, or that I am lying to myself; I think we can all reinvent ourselves, at any point in time no matter where we are. I see it as a part of yourself that was waiting to come out, and a part of you you’ll enjoy exploring.

So without realizing it, I had become the person I always wanted to be, and it took me having to move to the other side of the world to find myself! I recognize that I am different now. I have grown and in the years ahead of me I will be a different person again. We never stop changing, and we do what we can to improve ourselves as well. It’s also great to hear others opinion, that their perception of you is different from that you have of yourself, as I have found. Of course that doesn’t mean you take their word for it, and of course not everyone will like you (sorry). But whatever helps you grow and allows you to see yourself better is always good and enriching. You will find what you are capable of, and it will amaze you on how efficient and even strong you can be, when you become completely alone, in a new place and it is just you and the world; just something to think about.

first step…

Freshly graduated from university and ready for adult life, we all take our first step and head out to the world, daring it to try us. And it does; one thing all our years of schooling never taught us, is how hard you hit real life. Once all the exams, all the coursework and seminars finish, you realise you never we’re really prepared. We remember the talks with guidance counselors and the many teachers telling us to have a goal, but none of that really helps, when you actually are left on your own. And it’s terrifying!

After leaving university, I had a dream like vision that a reputable media production company would take me under their wing, see my potential and I would be learning and working my way up the cooperate ladder, making videos, TV shows and scripting my own production within 5 years. Sad to say dear readers, that did not happen. It never really does.

I ended up working in a hotel for a year, not a bad place to start but after all my years of schooling, I couldn’t believe this is where I ended up.

So, did that mean I failed? Did I need a new dream? Was all my education a waste of time? Was I going to be doing this forever?  I always believed in when the right time came, something will happen. But waiting became a game that I would never win. And it was only then I realised, the right time was NOW! It is always NOW. I am only in my 20’s and you may have heard it before, but this is truly the time for one to discover themselves. And when it comes to yourself, you should never wait. And in all honesty, there is no magical moment, no sign from the universe guiding you. You are in charge and only you call the shots. So take that first step.

As for me , I took my first step on a plane all by myself, and headed to New Zealand at the start of the new year. And in 2 months I have come to understand so much about myself.

So do it! You’re in your 2o’s, you’ve just left university and your life has literally just started. So enjoy it, take it slowly. Our education has finished but learning never does, so before we set anything in stone, see what you can learn our there and then make a decision. Go to different places, learn about different cultures and languages and meet different people. The more you move, the more you’ll take in and the more you take in, the better understanding of the world you’ll have and just maybe, the place you have in it. Listen to someone years above you, remember how the world looked from those younger than you;  see things from someone else’s perspective.

There will be time to climb that ladder but for now, I’m going to walk the world.

Just something to think about.